"Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Manage ANGER" review

Kids with autism often have difficulty appropriately expressing and understanding their emotions.  This is definitely true of Danny.  Whenever he is feeling a strong emotion, no matter if it's good or bad, it seems to impair his ability to communicate.  This is an especially big problem when he's angry.  So, when Future Horizons offered me the chance to review "Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to Manage ANGER" by Tony Atwood I was excited.

This is a workbook and program to help kids with Asperger's, High Functioning Autism, or PDD-NOS learn to deal with their feelings, most specifically anger.  Atwood collected a series of 6 sessions which can be used with groups or individuals. The sessions are very thorough, and each session builds on the previous one.   Atwood helps kids understand what makes them angry, how their body responds to anger, and how to effectively and appropriately deal with the anger when it comes.

I'm really excited about this program because it seems super easy to adapt it to a family group activity so Danny doesn't feel like it's just more homework.  There is also much attention paid to developing tools to deal with strong emotions, like anger.  

I especially like the lesson where Atwood has kids think of a TV, book or film hero who has felt angry.  He asks them questions like:  Why did he/she feel angry?  How did they cope with the feeling?  What did they do or think that stopped the feeling from becoming too strong?

We haven't tried implementing these lessons yet, but my plan is to try them out this summer, when we have some more free time.  If you're concerned about how your child deals with anger or other strong emotions, I would recommend checking out this book.  The way the lessons are set up really get the kids thinking about their feelings and how to control them, and it's all done in an interesting way.  I am so excited about this book!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As usual, if you are buying this book from Future Horizons (which I highly recommend), you can get 15% off and free shipping if you use the code PH.  Remember, the 15% off applies on anything you purchase there, no matter how much you spend.  It's a great deal!

Lucky in love

In college, my best friend Kim and I periodically played cards with our married friends on a weekend.  Hyper aware of our single status and very eager to change it, Kim and I watched our married friends in envy.

Wonderfully sweet Ellie encouraged us, angrily refusing to understand why we weren't besieged with date offers on a daily basis.  Loyal to the end, Ellie regaled us with pep talks full of our many (in her opinion) amazing qualities that any sane man should find irresistible.

Kim and I laughed and shrugged, sometimes rolling our eyes like adolescents.  We didn't really believe Ellie which, come to think of it, might have been part of our problem.  She didn't let our pessimism get to her, though.  She refused to let us think badly of ourselves.

One comment that was sure to elicit some vigorous eye rolling occurred when either of us lost a card game. Ellie would proclaim triumphantly, "Unlucky in cards, lucky in love!"

Kim and I chalked up Ellie's uber flattering opinions of us to her sainthood.  Her pep talks were similar to those you might have received from your mom as a preteen.  Sure, mom, YOU think I'm beautiful, but you HAVE to say that.  You're my mom.  You know, that kind of thing.

The years passed on and we all moved to different parts of the country.

And Kim and I were still experiencing a romantic dry spell.  A very long and painful dry spell.  Sure, we each dated.  But not much.  And no one with any promise.  We would call each other and bemoan our lack of prospects, and we came to believe that Ellie had to have been out of her mind.  We were hopeless.

Finally, Kim met Derik, an acquaintance of mine from Chicago.  And eventually I met Bil.  And the rest is history.

Over the years, especially when playing cards, or when I've received an email from Ellie, I remember her saying, "Unlucky in cards, lucky in love" and it makes me smile.

Which makes me think of Bil and how we met and fell in love.  And it makes me think of why, after 10 years, we are still in love and holding hands, despite warnings from people that it would never last.

More than anything, Bil is my best friend.  He's the person I most want to talk to when I've had a great day.

And when I've had a terrible day, Bil's the one who's there when I cry and rage and fall apart.  I know he'll never judge me when I'm overwhelmed as a parent.  Or when I'm angry at the kids.

I can always depend on him.  Always.

And that's not all.  Bil actually likes spending time with me and the kids.  We have so much fun working on our geeky projects together, like writing incredibly cheesy Christmas cards.  If something is important to me, Bil is always there willing to help.  He gets my vision for LEGO Club and helps me with every stage of the project.  And he enjoys helping.

The more I talk with my friends, the more I realize how lucky I am.  I have a somewhat unusual husband: selfless, thoughtful, uncomplaining, sensitive, funny, smart, patient, and loyal to the end.  He's a good listener, a caring friend, and an awesome team player.

He's there for me.

So, I guess Ellie was right all along.  I AM lucky in love.

Though I still don't really believe her assertions that I deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more posts on Luck, visit Gretchen at Second Blooming who hosts the Spin Cycle.

Some more Ryan....

The Special Needs Ryan Gosling meme that Sunday Stillwell started is still going strong. And thank goodness, too! I have never needed humor in my life more than the last several weeks. Thank you, Sunday!

I had school meetings this week and have spent much time researching IEP law and all that happy crap. So, here's my attempt at levity:

And here's a Daylight Savings poster I made last week as I bemoaned the strife and chaos that was about to engulf my household:

Here's a poster Bil made for me after I told him I couldn't go to the store because I wasn't presentable:

Make sure you check out all the other bloggers who are linked up in this meme.  Just head on over to Adventures in Extreme Parenthood and you'll find a list of bloggers participating.

6 AM: It's the new 7AM

I'm thinking we aren't the only parents out there who rue the day some idiot came up with Daylight Savings Time. Every time it comes around, we have major schedule and mood disruptions here that honestly seem to last about 4 months. Which leaves us 2 months of peace and serenity, before it all starts up again.

So, in honor of the torture we call "Daylight Savings Time," I have created another Ryan Gosling poster; if I don't laugh about it, I'll cry, scream and tear out my hair.

And I don't look good bald.

For more awesome Special Needs Ryan Gosling memes, check out Adventures in Extreme Parenthood.  Sunday Stillwell is an amazingly funny blogger who has brightened this corner of the world with her humor!

Feed me, Ryan!

It's that time of the week again! Special Needs Ryan Gosling time! Be sure to check out Adventures in Extreme Parenting by Sunday Stillwell for more Gosling posters. They're all a riot!

So, we're still having big eating issues with Danny and now Tommy has joined in, as well. So, yeah, the girl who swore she would never make separate meals for her kids is now eating her words.

At every meal.

So, I say this calls for some Ryan Gosling:

Mall Bangs

Gretchen, at Second Blooming, has decided to embarrass all the Spin Cycle participants; she made the topic hair and has specifically requested Big Hair Pictures. As it turns out, this was not a difficult assignment for me.

I embraced the 80s wholeheartedly. Pictures of my hair can attest to that. I spent many hours applying the better part of a can of Aquanet hairspray to my spiral permed hair before going out at night. For years, my curling iron was encrusted with a thick layer of melted hairspray, gel and mousse.

Check it out. I'm the one on the right with the reddish hair. Like the outfit?

And here is my glorious senior picture. I can't believe I am even posting this. I'm sure a good part of the hole in the ozone layer was created on the day this picture was taken.

Since my teens, I have been on the hunt for the perfect hairstyle, convinced if I could just find the cut for me, my life would be transformed. I have spent more time than I care to admit, scouring hairstyle magazines and grilling family and friends about how I should get my hair cut.

After many years of polling, my friends and family are sick of it. Every time I open my mouth, now, my sister says, "I don't care about your bangs!"

So, instead of being an adult and just making a decision, I thought I'd ask your opinion instead.

I'm growing my hair out from this style (I'm the one in the middle slouching)

to this style (I'm the one on the right, but if you mistook me for my daughter, I could hardly blame you. We're like twins, right?)  

But, here's the thing: I'm sick of growing it out.  I can't decide if I should give up and keep my hair short and spiky or grow it back out to a shortish bob.

What do you think?

Please help me. I just know if I get the exact right cut, I'll magically lose 35 pounds and life will be infinitely better, just like in the shampoo commercials.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out the Spin Cycle for other posts about hair!

Spread the Word to End the Word!

A couple years ago, I posted this story of when some kids called Danny a "retard" at the playground.

It was devastating.  But it also taught me a lesson.  As a kid of the 80s, I used the word "retard" and "retarded" with abandon.  Bad hair day?  Yep, my hair looked retarded.

Forgot my homework at home?  I must be a retard.

Someone did something stupid?  I called them retarded.

I'm ashamed of that, now.  I had no idea, no idea at all how destructive and hateful that word is.

But now I know.  Unfortunately, I had to learn from personal experience.

So, please, please, please stop using this word!

This public service announcement sums it up perfectly.