Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You Want a Piece of Me?!?!?!

I am not very good at dealing with stress. I get overwhelmed at times and often take it out on my family. I had a really bad night last night; after spending over an hour in a committee meeting last (and let's not even mention the Primary presidency meeting I had in the morning) I came home tired, only to be awakened around 1AM by my son. Hec limbed into bed with us and then proceeded to toss and turn and kick and flail. Finally, out of desperation, I left the comfort of my large, warm bed (with pillow top mattress and nice down comforter) to sleep in Danny's vacant single bed. Well, apparently Danny was not interested in sharing a bed with his dad. Instead, his mission was to torment me and insure that I would get no more than 5 consecutive minutes of sleep. Finally, after hours of lying in his cramped bed with his smelly blanket in my face and Danny snoring in my ears, I got up and returned to my bed, where Bil promptly began his own, very loud snoring. If I hadn't been so tired, I might have seen the humor in the situation, but as it was, I felt like the entire universe was conspiring to keep me sleep-deprived.

Then, this morning, Danny decided to refuse to get dressed for school. This is the second day in a row that he has been late because he wouldn't cooperate. I think it is because he is coming down with a cold and is tired, but I was completely at my wits' end. I didn't know what to do, and to be honest, in my sleep-deprived and PMS-induced hysteria, I was not at my best.

After finally getting Danny to school an hour late, Charlotte and I went grocery shopping, where I ran into a woman from church who is moving soon. She asked me to come over soon to help her organize and declutter her house. I have helped her declutter in the past, and she has asked me to help her on other occasions, as well. I know it is not very charitable, but I can't help resenting the request for help.

On top of that request, I am babysitting three times in the next week for friends. Also, I have Meals on Wheels next Wed, as well as a whole bunch of preparation I have to do for church on Sunday. Then, this afternoon the branch president calls to ask me to speak on Sunday. By the time 7:00 rolled around this evening, I was totally frazzled and exhausted. The kids have been crabby (did I mention Charlotte refused to nap today and that I completely scorched a pan of rice?), I have been crabby, and of course, Bil had to leave immediately after dinner for the youth group activity that happens every Wed. night. I found myself envying him and his opportunity to escape all this domestic bliss.

Anyway, so when the Red Cross called this evening, I felt it was appropros. With all the demands for my time and energy, it only seems fitting that I be asked to donate some blood, too.


Amy Jane said...

Patty, dear,

Wow. You had quite a couple of days, there, didn't you? I totally feel for you and can only imagine how frazzled and cross you must feel. But now comes the tough love. You have the power to make choices, and one of those choices can be to say "No." Overextending yourself like you are is not doing any good for you, Bil, or the kids. When you're doing so much that you can't catch yourself coming or going and you feel frazzled and resentful, that is a big warning bell! You don't have to help that woman declutter, and you don't have to feel guilty if you don't. And you shouldn't be babysitting three times in one week when you have two kids of your own. Patty - I've told you this before, and I'll tell you again: you've GOT to find places to cut back! Don't feel guilty, don't be wishy-washy, don't give in to please people. You have to look out for number one, and you have to do (or choose not to do) what makes you and your family happiest. When someone asks you to do a favor, you're not automatically obligated, and if they can't deal with your polite refusal, then they're not worth having in your life. Please hear me and take my words to heart! I hate to see you on this rat wheel of your own making when you hold the power to just step off! Quit being a doormat and stand up for your sanity! I love you...


beckbot said...

I just sent you an email that is approximately the exact same thing that Amy wrote above. My friend, Hannah's mom, has this quote on her wall:
“My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.”
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I'm going to print it out right now as a reminder to myself.
take care of yourself!