Tuesday, February 10, 2009

maternity t-shirt sayings

I am now exactly 35 weeks, 5 days pregnant, so I have roughly one more month of pregnancy bliss. One more month in which to frantically prepare for the coming of this sweet bundle of joy. Actually, aside from packing my bag for the hospital, I am pretty much prepared. I have had a serious case of nesting syndrome for the last few months, so I think we are good to go. This has been a relatively easy pregnancy (if you count aches and pains and lots of heartburn "easy"). I have enjoyed most aspects of it, but there is one major thing I will not be sad to leave behind once the baby comes, and it is this: really strange/insensitive/redundant remarks and/or questions about this pregnancy. So, I have decided to make up some t-shirts that should put an end to the crazy comments. Here are a few of the sayings I will be putting on the t-shirts:

Hands off the gut!!

No, I am NOT having twins.

Yes, I know I am "great with child." That little phrase wasn't funny the first time and it isn't funny now.

If you use the words "huge," "enormous," "gargantuan," "behemoth" in my presence, you better have good reflexes.

Please do not share birthing horror stories with me. I just ate.

Wide load coming through. Please make way.

None of the following is any of your business:
the baby's name
how much weight I have gained
whether I will breast feed

Got a death wish? Call me hormonal.

Just lie and say I look nice.

No comments about my size, ok?

And this one is especially for my kids and husband:
Pick up your own dang socks. I can't bend over.


a Tonggu Momma said...

One of the few things I DON'T regret failing to experience. LOL.

Quirky Mom said...


Somehow I managed to come through pregnancy relatively unscathed by rude comments. Either that, or in my Aspieness I just totally missed them. LOL.

Baby's coming soon! Eeeeeeee!!!

mrsbear said...

LMAO. You need to get those printed. Every pregnant woman I've known including me would have worn one. Really people. Common sense, come on.

kia (good enough mama) said...

These are awesome, Patty! You really should get them printed! Here's a couple that I could think of:

*No, I'm not pregnant. I'm fat. Thanks for asking, stupid.

*Has anyone seen my feet?

~ April ~ said...

LOL, those are great... and oh-so-true!

Elizabeth Channel said...

People are crazy. Simply crazed.

One day I'll drum up this photo that made the front page of the paper when I was past due with my first child who was tagged to be a "New Year's" baby. The only good part of it was no one knew it was me because I was so swollen and distended.

Here's to a peaceful four weeks!

bernthis said...

might I add one or two:

did it take you a long time to get pregnant?
Was it planned?

those were two of my favs

Deb's World said...

You totally need to patten those! I know a few of my friends would have loved them!

lonestar said...

LOL, those are great :).

I would add, "the next person to say I look like I'm going to pop is going to get popped!" I hated that one, always gave me a visual of a popping balloon. :/