Sunday, February 8, 2009

elusive sleep

So, I was indulging in one of my many guilty pleasures--reading a dumb magazine--the other day when I came across an interesting article. Over a year ago, in a misguided and futile attempt to reinvigorate my diet and exercise plan, I subscribed to Fitness magazine. It hasn't helped me at all, and I haven't been all that impressed with the articles. In my opinion, they are too cursory and too common sense. Like, duh, really? We shouldn't eat ice cream at every meal? Who knew?

Anyway, I have been too lazy to cancel my subscription, so I still read the fluffy articles. This month there was an article entitled "Deprivation Nation" about sleep and its effects on our health. I think we all know how important sleep is, right? Anyone who has gone through their day in an utter fog knows that sleep is helpful in life. The other day, after one too many nights of interrupted sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I called a friend back and left a message, only to find out hours later that I had dialed a different friend's number and left the message on the wrong answering machine. I put the pepperoni in the freezer rather than the fridge and couldn't find it all day. Yes, I know that I need sleep to function.

So the article talks about some recent research that has found a link between lack of sleep and diabetes. Apparently, not sleeping enough totally screws up your body's ability to process glucose. Great, as if I need one more risk factor for diabetes. Or one more thing to worry about as I wake every night.

The article then goes on to list all these ways you can reset your sleep clock. The author writes as if the reader needed motivation to get more sleep. I had to wonder who she thinks her readers are. I mean, I WANT to sleep. I wish I could sleep all day. I wish I could have a whole week of nights with absolutely no sleep interruptions. No little boy falling out of bed and needing comforting. No toddler waking up screaming at least 3 times a week and requiring hours of needling, bribery and coercion to get back to bed. No need to wake up and use the facilities at least twice nightly. No husband snoring in my ear. Seriously. (This has all happened to me in the last week. I am totally not exaggerating, either.) What I wouldn't give for better sleep. And no amount of avoiding caffeine, no amount of regular exercise or soothing music is going to do it for me. Nope, there is only one answer for me, and it is one my husband stubbornly refuses to accept.

It is a two-fold plan and very simple, though potentially expensive:
a room of my own and boarding school for the kids.

I really don't think this is too much to ask, is it?


Stonefox (otherwise known as Heidi) said...


I recently heard something on the news about this and they were sounding as if no one DESIRED sleep anymore. Are folks nuts?! Either that or they don't have small children.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha!

Good luck with that, Patty!

Anonymous said...

If you find a good one, let me know, I'm sending mine too! :)

Amy Jane said...

My poor friend! I feel your pain. I love your twofold plan - you kill me! Seriously - someday, you need to come visit me all by your lonesome, and then you can sleep as much as you want!

beckbot said...

Patty, I feel your pain! Only the cause of my problem is garden-variety insomnia. I suggest ear plugs, a fan (white noise), Unisom or Benadryl at night (my O.B. said Unisom is fine during pregnancy, but of course you'll want to check on that), and a super nitpicky schedule re: which parent gets up with the kids on which night. That's what we do. Sleeping is a *serious* problem for me. Of course when the baby arrives all of this will go out the window :(

Elizabeth Channel said...

Count me in! I haven't slept through the night in months and months and it's affecting everything about me!

Carrie C. said...

what do you mean i can't have ice cream with every meal?!?! hehe anyway, it was great to see you in walmart today. you look great. just reminding you to come to playgroup this week. if you don't i am coming to you house to get you!!! and about the sleep thing...if you ever figure a way to get a full night's sleep without interruptions will you let me know?

Deb's World said...

Patty you so make me laugh!!! I love reading your blogs! My sister made her husband get some machine that he wears at night to stop his snoring. It was either that or he was sleeping somewhere else. Can you give melatonin to kids? :)