Saturday, March 7, 2009

breaking news!

This just in! Here's a front-page headline of our local newspaper:

"No One Immune from Job Loss"

Thought I would share that with you in case you had been living under a rock and didn't realize that any one of us could be affected by the rise in unemployment. I am so glad I pay for my local newspaper's subscription, otherwise I might have remained ignorant of this vital piece of information. As if I need a reminder.

After reading this post, my husband pointed out some other front-page articles that you might enjoy. One headline read:
" may be good for you!"
Of course, in a town where there are boil orders every week, that may be front page news after all. We sure live the quiet life don't we?

Another great series of articles featured a hog farm dispute between the farmers and the neighbors who said it stank. The neighbors want to shut it down and they are still in court trying to figure this one out. Seriously. They have called in experts to testify whether it smells bad enough to be a hardship on the neighbors. Personally, I just don't even see how there is a dispute here. Hogs stink. How can you argue with that?

Here's a good headline for those of you who adhere to normal grammar and spelling rules:
"New Fedex in Town Employees About 100 Workers"

I think I actually get more amusement from the bad writing and ridiculous stories than I do news. But, as there are few entertainment options here, I guess it is worth it.


beckbot said...

Oh, man! I thought you were in labor or something.

Laura said...

also: the earth is round
related: 1+1=2
this is fun!

goodfountain said...

You know what I think, Patty?

I think you wrote that headline just to mess with us. No more "news flashes" from pancakesgoneawry unless the news includes something about a trip to the hospital (or the bathtub at home - you know, whatever you're into). :-)

Quirky Mom said...

I love bad grammar, too! Heh heh heh. Thanks for sharing. :) said...

LOL love the last one. Journalist school drop-off

MOM-NOS said...

omg.....that's a hoot. Do you live where I live? Seriously....sounds very similar to our newspapers!! Are you anywhere near the Quad Cities??

Kim said...

who is the editor of your local paper? captain obvious???

oh, and I used to live near a hog farm. ya, they stink. a lot! of course even at 8 years old that was a pretty obvious one for me.