Saturday, April 4, 2009

my conspiracy theory

Not long ago, I read the book Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes, a fascinating read, which I highly recommend. In it, the author describes the training that the military gives to a certain group of special agents. One part of it consists of the trainees being hunted down, captured and then held and tortured to see how they will hold up under duress.
The torture consists of things, like interrogation and withholding food, some beatings etc. What surprised me, though, was that they also keep the trainees from sleeping for more than 15 minutes at a time for a three-day period.

Images flashed through my mind of my head hitting the pillow just as a kid started crying, or of lying down for a nap and hearing a knock on my bedroom door and a little voice saying, "Mommy, wake up and play with me." Reading this made me realize several things:
a) I was not being paranoid when I suspected that my children had received some specialized training in torture techniques and manipulation. They are just too good at what they do.
b) Obviously, I was also correct in my theory that they are conspiring to drive me mad. I just had no idea that they were using techniques also used by the military.
c) My kids are way, way smarter than I am.
d) No wonder I am so close to a nervous breakdown.
e) I really don't stand a chance against them, do I?


Quirky Mom said...

Oh, Patty, I hope you get some sleep soon! Can someone whisk all the kids away for a few hours so you can get in a nap one day? Soon? I wish I could offer...

Anonymous said...

I remember the no-sleep years. Feeling your pain today & hoping Bil can sneak at least 2 of them off so you can nap!

Natalie said...

Oh Patty! I wish you some sleep soon. I can't remember the last time Hannah made it all the way through the night. I've only got one. I can't imagine how much harder it is with each successive child!

a Tonggu Momma said...

No. You don't stand a chance. But at least you know that you are brilliant for figuring that out.

mrsbear said...

You've got me convinced, they are totally out to get you. You really don't stand a chance, but maybe once they actually break you, they'll get bored and let you sleep...I don't think I've had an actual nap in years.

Elizabeth Channel said...

You must sleep. Find a way. It is too hard. I will pray for your sanity. Can your mom come back so you can sleep?