As he rolled around on the floor cooing and burbling, I noticed that all the incredibly cute things I was exclaiming over would be completely repulsive had Tommy been an adult. For example, I laughed at the way he drooled so much that long strings of spit dangled from his mouth all the way to the floor. I know. Totally adorable, right?
Then, he let loose a whole series of farts that were nothing less than charming. Even
when he spits up all over me, I usually just laugh it off in a "babies will be babies" kind of way. And when he burps? Yeah, we often praise and congratulate him. And don't even get me started on his rolls of fat and "cankles" (legs that are so fat the calves and ankles are basically indistinguishable). I love them.
But tonight the unfairness hit me. I mean, why is it that only babies are adorable when they have rolls of flesh all over their bodies? Why can't adults be fat, jolly and flatulent and still be super popular?
Because man, could I be popular....
*** Speaking of popularity, I find Facebook a really fascinating phenomenon. Not only is it a great way to reconnect with long lost friends, but it's also the place to get back in touch with every single acquaintance you have ever made and forgotten about in your entire life. I swear
my memory must be even worse than I think it is, because I keep getting friend requests from people I don't remember. I mean, I might remember their name, but cannot for the life of me remember much else about the friend of the guy I dated my sophomore year of high school.
Also, I must have a different memory of what happened years ago. That's the only way I can explain why I have gotten a friend request from a girl who was actually seriously mean to
me in junior high. While I don't think I harbor any grudges, I don't see why I would actually want
to be privy to S's daily ramblings after she made me cry every single day of the 7th grade.
Unless of course, her daily ramblings reveal that she has gained 300 pounds, works at a toll booth, and has no love in her life.
I am just kidding. Sheesh. Well, mostly kidding, anyway.
***Another thing I love about Facebook is the quizzes. I am constantly amazed at how many wacko quizzes there are out there. And I admit, I have taken a few of them myself, and have acquired some really interesting information.
For example, I have discovered that according to a Dr. Phil personality quiz, I am a narcissistic, selfish and insensitive person. And let's not forget that I was a gorilla in a past life.
Oh, and "The Office" character I am most like is Kevin Malone. You know, the big, fat, jolly guy who farts all the time. Hmmmm....maybe there is something to these quizzes, after all.
*** My friend Rebecca once commented that Facebook is much like high school. Lots of trying to sound cool and be popular. And I think she is right. I suspected that some people add anyone as friends whether they like the person or not. This was confirmed when Bil created a Facebook page for Dolly, a scary doll that my sister and I pass back and forth.
This doll, along with some much prettier dolls, were bequeathed to us after the death of my aunt. We divvied up the others, but neither of us wanted to claim Dolly as our own. Frankly, she scared the crap out of both of us, as we envisioned her coming to life and killing us in our sleep. What commenced was a game in which we try to pawn the doll off on each other. My sister has hidden Dolly in my underwear drawer, under my car seat, and has even had my mother mail it to me along with Christmas gifts. I, in turn, have stowed Dolly all over her house and have taken delight in the times my sister couldn't find her. The only rule of our game is we cannot hide Dolly in our kids's rooms. You know, just in case she finds herself in possession of a tiny doll knife and goes homicidal.
Because Bil and I are total nerds, and because this game of ours has at times driven my brother-in-law nuts, Bil had the idea tocreate a Facebook page for Dolly. We uploaded pictures of her in various parts of my sister's house and posted them on FB for my brother-in-law to see. The funniest part of this rather pathetic story is that when Bil created the FB page for Dolly, he invited several people to add her as a friend. And though none of these people (save my brother-in-law) knew anything about Dolly, they accepted her bid for friendship. It baffles my mind. I mean, seriously. Tell me, after seeing her picture, would you add this scary doll as your friend on FB? I didn't think so.
But, if you are interested, her FB name is "Dolly K. Brown."
I hear she is pretty desperate for friends.