Tuesday, November 10, 2009

random thoughts Tuesday: facebook, babies and flatulence

*** I took delight in watching Tommy, my eight-month-old baby, this evening after bath time. I let him hang out naked for a bit tonight because he seemed to be enjoying himself so much. (Just one more way he resembles his father.)

As he rolled around on the floor cooing and burbling, I noticed that all the incredibly cute things I was exclaiming over would be completely repulsive had Tommy been an adult. For example, I laughed at the way he drooled so much that long strings of spit dangled from his mouth all the way to the floor. I know. Totally adorable, right?

Then, he let loose a whole series of farts that were nothing less than charming. Even
when he spits up all over me, I usually just laugh it off in a "babies will be babies" kind of way. And when he burps? Yeah, we often praise and congratulate him. And don't even get me started on his rolls of fat and "cankles" (legs that are so fat the calves and ankles are basically indistinguishable). I love them.

But tonight the unfairness hit me. I mean, why is it that only babies are adorable when they have rolls of flesh all over their bodies? Why can't adults be fat, jolly and flatulent and still be super popular?

Because man, could I be popular....

*** Speaking of popularity, I find Facebook a really fascinating phenomenon. Not only is it a great way to reconnect with long lost friends, but it's also the place to get back in touch with every single acquaintance you have ever made and forgotten about in your entire life. I swear
my memory must be even worse than I think it is, because I keep getting friend requests from people I don't remember. I mean, I might remember their name, but cannot for the life of me remember much else about the friend of the guy I dated my sophomore year of high school.

Also, I must have a different memory of what happened years ago. That's the only way I can explain why I have gotten a friend request from a girl who was actually seriously mean to
me in junior high. While I don't think I harbor any grudges, I don't see why I would actually want
to be privy to S's daily ramblings after she made me cry every single day of the 7th grade.

Unless of course, her daily ramblings reveal that she has gained 300 pounds, works at a toll booth, and has no love in her life.

I am just kidding. Sheesh. Well, mostly kidding, anyway.

***Another thing I love about Facebook is the quizzes. I am constantly amazed at how many wacko quizzes there are out there. And I admit, I have taken a few of them myself, and have acquired some really interesting information.

For example, I have discovered that according to a Dr. Phil personality quiz, I am a narcissistic, selfish and insensitive person. And let's not forget that I was a gorilla in a past life.

Oh, and "The Office" character I am most like is Kevin Malone. You know, the big, fat, jolly guy who farts all the time. Hmmmm....maybe there is something to these quizzes, after all.

*** My friend Rebecca once commented that Facebook is much like high school. Lots of trying to sound cool and be popular. And I think she is right. I suspected that some people add anyone as friends whether they like the person or not. This was confirmed when Bil created a Facebook page for Dolly, a scary doll that my sister and I pass back and forth.

This doll, along with some much prettier dolls, were bequeathed to us after the death of my aunt. We divvied up the others, but neither of us wanted to claim Dolly as our own. Frankly, she scared the crap out of both of us, as we envisioned her coming to life and killing us in our sleep. What commenced was a game in which we try to pawn the doll off on each other. My sister has hidden Dolly in my underwear drawer, under my car seat, and has even had my mother mail it to me along with Christmas gifts. I, in turn, have stowed Dolly all over her house and have taken delight in the times my sister couldn't find her. The only rule of our game is we cannot hide Dolly in our kids's rooms. You know, just in case she finds herself in possession of a tiny doll knife and goes homicidal.

Because Bil and I are total nerds, and because this game of ours has at times driven my brother-in-law nuts, Bil had the idea to
create a Facebook page for Dolly. We uploaded pictures of her in various parts of my sister's house and posted them on FB for my brother-in-law to see. The funniest part of this rather pathetic story is that when Bil created the FB page for Dolly, he invited several people to add her as a friend. And though none of these people (save my brother-in-law) knew anything about Dolly, they accepted her bid for friendship. It baffles my mind. I mean, seriously. Tell me, after seeing her picture, would you add this scary doll as your friend on FB? I didn't think so.

But, if you are interested, her FB name is "Dolly K. Brown."
I hear she is pretty desperate for friends.


Mrsbear said...

That Dolly story is AWESOME. You guys are hilarious. I don't even know what else to say, except that she scares the bejeezus out of me.

I personally don't understand FB. It really is like this weird extension of high school that some people thrive on and others shy away from. You're right though, some people will accept requests from anyone, although I might have to look Dolly up myself. ;)

I love baby cankles!

Susan said...

I love the "Brown" touch.
I have denied requests on Facebook and am tempted to "un-friend" someone who is ALWAYS going on a Political rampage.

Amy Jane said...

Patty, could you BE funnier? No! No, you couldn't. BTW, when it comes to flatulence, I hope you realize that I completely have you beat. :)

kia (good enough mama) said...

ack. i LOVE being nosy on FB, but i HATE hearing people whine about everything under the sun when their lives are easy and blessed. argh! dolly sounds like a real hottie. too bad i don't "friend" hot chicks because i'm intimidated.

Kelly said...

I totally want to be Dolly's friend.

I have one person in my friend list who I can't remember. I said yes because she looked vaguely familiar, and I felt bad for not remembering her. Anyone else who I don't know/remember gets the no vote when they request to be my friend. Also, just because you friended my husband who you went to high school or college with doesn't mean you can be my friend too. I think that's weird when his friends who he knew YEARS before we even met ask to be my friend too.

I admit to being a little annoyed that this girl I knew in high school can't grow up 15 years later. There's a long sordid history of us both being kind of rotten to one another after being best friends for a year and a half (though to be fair, she started the rotten part). I saw her on Facebook and saw that she's married and has a little boy and looks so happy and I thought, "Aw, that's great" remembering that we were once friends. So I requested to be her friend because I thought, you know, bygones. Denied. I can only assume that even with a husband, child, and a PhD/MD, she's still 15.

Sarah said...

Dolly is completely twisted and I freaking love it. And I am now tempted to let out a long piece of drool and to post it as my profile pic.

I totally joined FB as a means for material for my blog, but I found this nice core group of people that make me laugh---all from different times in my life. And I have to say, I am really pleased about that...

Yet I am amazed at how boring and competitive some people are and have found myself "hiding" quite a few "friends"---if they are looking for validation, they have befriended the wrong chica :)

a Tonggu Momma said...

You? Made me laugh OUT LOUD with this post. And we have a Dolly in our family, too... only it's blue vase. But it's a really, really, REALLY ugly blue vase.

Mama Zen said...

Facebook is scary. Much like that doll!

Kim said...

oh! i am TOTALLY going to friend Dolly on FB. Seriously! I'm doing it right NOW.
I love the story of how you and your sister try to "give" her to each other. So much fun. Totally sounds like something my siblings and I would do.