Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Thoughts while exercising


"OK, I should be almost done now. Wait. What did she just say? Warm-up? Are you kidding me? That was just the warm-up?"

"It would be so much easier to do these ab exercises if my gut weren't so big."

"I never should have let the kids eat popcorn in the family room last night. This floor is disgusting. Maybe I should go get my yoga mat. Oh, yeah, I forgot, the kids use it now for their tactile activities, so it's covered in dried shaving cream."

"Mmmm...popcorn sounds really good."

"I hate these perky women on this tape."

"I wonder if the popcorn on the floor is super stale....."
"Blech. Yep, it's stale all right."

"Whew, should I be sweating this much? I hope I don't have an aneurysm or something. I wonder what the warning signs of impending aneurysm are."

"Are there women out there who can seriously do more than three real push-ups?"
"Wow, I actually have some cleavage when I am on my hands and knees."

"This Joseph Pilates guy? He is so lucky he is already dead; I want to kill him. I am almost tempted to dig up his body and kill him all over again. What a sadist."

"Wow, my gut seems to actually be getting bigger as I exercise."

"Yes! I'm done! What's for lunch?"

10 comments:

Logical Libby said...

I always figure I'll start exercising once I'm in better shape. That will make it easier.

Sarah said...

LOL---Great minds do think alike. I wrote something similar this morning. If I hear one more person tell me that I will feel great with exercise I will strangle them (while eating a slice of deep dish pizza). Oh and just a warning...don't buy a pedometer to see how many steps you are actually walking---it is no where near the recommended 10,000 and it will just bring on a wave of depression....

Amy Jane said...

Patty, you absolutely SLAY me! Thank you so much - I really needed a good laugh today, and you provided one. Man, am I lucky to have you as my friend. Way to go on doing Pilates, BTW!

Susan said...

I had to download a bunch of loud rap to drown out my exercise thoughts. It works when I work out

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I come up with some of my best writing ideas while I swim. Scary what happens when the mind goes wandering...
So funny!

Denise said...

you crack me up!

Keri said...

hi, patty! just thought i would pop over and say congrats on winning hartley's book too. just read your 'sixth sense' post and it freaked me out when you described your son's sleep disturbances way back when. that's exactly what we've been going through for the last year and it's so good to hear i'm not alone or crazy and that things get better... for our lil' guys and for us moms- even with our super mama powers.

Amy said...

Thank GOD i don't have to do those stupid "Joe exercises" - I just read you blog and notice my abs are really getting toned from the deep belly laughs!!! what a hoot girl! - I REALLY needed that lift!! love, A

Mrsbear said...

Ugh. This just reminds me of how badly I need to start exercising again. Stupid Pilates.

Elizabeth Channel said...

I'm with Mrs. Bear in my angst about the non-exercising reminder...it's been two weeks and three pounds of Easter chocolate ago since I did anything to break a sweat...