"OK, I should be almost done now. Wait. What did she just say? Warm-up? Are you kidding me? That was just the warm-up?"
"It would be so much easier to do these ab exercises if my gut weren't so big."
"I never should have let the kids eat popcorn in the family room last night. This floor is disgusting. Maybe I should go get my yoga mat. Oh, yeah, I forgot, the kids use it now for their tactile activities, so it's covered in dried shaving cream."
"Mmmm...popcorn sounds really good."
"I hate these perky women on this tape."
"I wonder if the popcorn on the floor is super stale....."
"Blech. Yep, it's stale all right."
"Whew, should I be sweating this much? I hope I don't have an aneurysm or something. I wonder what the warning signs of impending aneurysm are."
"Are there women out there who can seriously do more than three real push-ups?"
"Wow, I actually have some cleavage when I am on my hands and knees."
"This Joseph Pilates guy? He is so lucky he is already dead; I want to kill him. I am almost tempted to dig up his body and kill him all over again. What a sadist."
"Wow, my gut seems to actually be getting bigger as I exercise."
"Yes! I'm done! What's for lunch?"