I'm reading this hilarious book called Such a Pretty Fat and in it Jen Lancaster, the author relays a conversation she is having with her stay-at-home mom friend Stacey.
Stacey is telling Jen that Jen doesn't look like she has gained weight and this is what Jen thinks: "Of course, Stacey is a mom and routinely lies all day--for example, That fluffy bunny on the side of the road is covered in delicious raspberry jam! And he's napping; shhh! Don't wake him!--so I am not quick to believe her."
This got me to thinking about the lies I tell my kids. The lies that I swore I would never tell. Here are a few:
"I'll be there in one minute."/ "I'll be off the phone in a second."
"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."
"Broccoli is just as yummy as chips, even better."/ "No, there are no onions in this."
"We are all out of the ice cream." / "McDonald's is all out of soda/french fries."
"The bubble gum machine/VCR/vending machine/Snoopy Sno-Cone machine is broken."
"I wish I could play Thomas the Train with you right now (for the 75,000th time this week) but I really have to work on the computer."
"I don't have a quarter for the gumball machine."
"We can't afford that toy right now." OR "I don't have money with me." (I was busted on this one. Danny reached into my purse and pulled out a wad of cash from my wallet and said, "Here's some money, mommy. Now you can buy me that toy.")
"If you don't get in the car this instant, I will leave you home alone!" I know, I really need to quit using this one. Someday, Charlotte is going to call my bluff.
"Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling."
"Sorry, we can't take in that stray cat, because it's kitty mommy and daddy would miss it too much and they'd be sad."
"Wendy's isn't open today."
Does this reveal what a horrible mom I am? Probably.
So, what about you? What lies have you told your kids?